Fifty

 So yesterday I came across this meme and reposted it on my Instagram and Facebook accounts:

A couple hours after it was posted my husband said something like, "How many people have asked you what's going on?" I was a little confused-he proceeded to explain that he read the meme as something someone who had been very depressed for years would post to tell everyone that they were starting to be less depressed.  I said, "Hmm...I read it as a woman who recently turned 50. and was thinking about being middle-aged" 😁 So now I feel the "need" to write about it a little more so y'all don't worry about me...or maybe you will anyway...whatever ...😃.  I suspect the following is going to read like a high school English essay in which I "analyze the poem and determine the author's purpose and what it means to me".😄

I turned fifty in January.  In the midst of a global pandemic.  So there wasn't a party, there wasn't a trip to Vegas to see Gwen Stefani, there wasn't a girl's trip or a couples trip, a family vacation, or, well, any of the things I thought I might do for my fiftieth birthday.  There was, however some self-reflection about definitely being middle-aged.  During long-ish solo drives to and from school, my mind wanders to all the things I once thought I'd do. ( the line: "It is time to forgive yourself for all the things you did not become")  Not things that I'm sad I didn't do...but all the things that I once thought I wanted to do.  Things like join the Peace Corps, be a school administrator, homeschool my kids, open an alternative school...Hmm.. those all have to do with education in some way.  Interesting.  Some things that I could still do, but most that I no longer feel the pull to do--I have other goals and dreams these days (like retiring and raising goats....😄?)  I read the meme as "it's ok to let go of the things you used to think you wanted and embrace new hopes and dreams...even if you are 50...or 60..or 90....".

As a teacher, the next sentence, "It is time to exonerate yourself for all the people you couldn't save, for all the fragile hearts you fumbled with, in the dark of your confusion.", struck a nerve.  The first part especially is something I think about a lot--about the students who I "couldn't save" or I don't know what happened to them after they left me--the "I hope they are alright".  I sometimes beat myself up a little about I could have/should have done more for my former students...what if I had...but...I know that is in God's hands.  I've said before that I believe my job as a teacher is to plant seeds and to hope that those seeds flower someday...and that I have to be ok with not knowing if the flowers ever happen. The longer I teach, the more I realize I have to be ok with not knowing what happens, with trusting that God has it all under control. I have done the best I could and that it is no longer in my hands.  The second part of the sentence reads "dark", but it truly the human condition--we are all in the dark to some degree and we are all (at least occasionally) confused about what we should be doing.  As a teacher, I sometimes struggle (in the dark) with "what on earth" to do for or with a student...I struggle with have I done enough and did I do the right things? I have to be ok without resolution.

The last couple sentences spoke to me about allowing myself to continue to grow and change--that  I don't have to be who I've always been, who I was a year ago, or even a day ago--I can still grow and change.  I feel like there sometimes is the societal expectation that I'm a real grown-up now and should know what I'm doing and what I want to do next...and I read this as, "you know what?  Its ok if you don't know what you want to do next--choose happiness at this moment and the future will take care of itself"...Happiness is right here, right now, if I will open my eyes and choose it.  I love the "with reckless abandon" line--the idea of choosing happiness recklessly--choose happiness without worrying about what could happen in the future...choose happiness even during a global pandemic when things are really weird...choose happiness always... (and that, could be a blog post by itself, right?  What is happiness?  How do we choose happiness even when things aren't great?)

So, in conclusion, (a phrase I tell my students not to use...eye roll)...I'm fine, everything's fine...just being reflective....hoping that you dear readers are also well...although I'm pretty sure I speak regularly to most of you...when I started this blog years ago I dreamed (a little) of being a "famous mommy blogger"...but realize that my audience is pretty small and that, too, is just fine :) (So that's another "let it go"😀)  Like and subscribe for more content from the Suburban Ranch.....😁

The December Birthday Dilemma...Chapter 12

So the Boy's birthday is this weekend.  When he was born, I had only accumulated about 4 weeks of leave. That combined with two weeks of Christmas Break and notes from both my doctor and the kids' pediatrician saying "keep that child out of daycare for one more week" meant that I ended up with just short of 7 weeks of leave--which made me very thankful that he was an "almost Christmas baby".
However, as he gets older, his holiday season birthday has created some interesting situations....like the year only one friend appeared at his party (because all the others had last minute visits to Santa, holiday events, etc.), or the year that 27 kids attended his Harry Potter themed party at our house (advertised as "We live 3 miles from the Outlet Mall....drop off ALL your children at The Boy's party and get your shopping done!!!").  Often he is a victim of "here is one big gift for both Christmas and your birthday" (I am guilty of this....) Every year we debate how many Christmas decorations are appropriate before his party (also influenced by if the birthday party is at our house or somewhere else).
This year since snowboarding is happening on both Saturday and Sunday, it may be months before The Boy actually gets a party (although there is a motion on the table to do something one day during winter break with one of his friends, who hasn't had a birthday party yet this year either...). And the Christmas tree dilemma...do we get it before his birthday? On his birthday?  After?  One year we picked up a tree for 75% off on December 19 because we had the party at our house that week and didn't want a bunch of little boys with lightsabers and a tree with ornaments together...
This year we will celebrate early with the family, before the boys go to the mountain apartment (The Girl has finals to study for...) so I made a cake tonight--it certainly isn't as impressive as some other birthday cakes (the jewelry box, the pirate ship...) but it looks like it is going to be delicious.. (and if I did it right, there will be a surprise when we cut into it...).  And I tasted the reject pieces and frosting and can attest that it is very tasty no matter what....

Happy 15th Birthday to The Girl

The Girl spent a week this summer in a Driver's Ed classroom, all day last Saturday at Defensive Driving School, and will spend her off period and lunch period waiting in line at the DMV with Mr IM to get her permit...She must be 15!

Happy Birthday to The Girl 

(originally posted on August 9, 2013, edited for this year)

On a very warm day in 2001, The Girl joined our family...

 With  Aunt Amy, Amy@ParkerHausRoles the day after she was born

She was adopted into the pack right away....(MJ actually thought The Girl was HER baby)

 She spent her first birthday on a grand MIdwestern tour (celebrating about 5 times if I remember correctly)

2002, with your friend, Abby Doll and 2003, getting ready for an adventure.

2004--a party in the yard with friends and an Elmo cake.

 And 2005--cake decorated by The Girl...this was the year she wanted a pink and purple house...

 2006--looking ready for kindergarten!

 2007 with a pile of presents from Grandma and Grandpa on your lap.

 2008--first birthday in the new house!

 2009 with her peeps-including one who flew in from Texas for the weekend!

 2010--nice stickers on your forehead, by the way

 2011--yes, we are all amazed you turned 10 that year. (and that your brother still wears that shirt...)

 2012--oooh, a curling iron?

 2013 (nice hat)

2014...again, nice hat....

2015....
And...drum roll...Happy 15th birthday!

14th Birthday Post
13th Birthday Post
12th Birthday Post

Happy Birthday to the Boy!

Today is The Boy's 11th Birthday!  He is kind of bummed, because his school Christmas program is today, interfering with his plan to eat out at Hibachi...Don't worry, kid, we'll make sure you get to go this weekend!

In honor of throw back Thursday...here are some earlier Boy Birthday posts!
2014

2013 culmulative

Happy 14th Birthday to the Girl!

We celebrated early last weekend, with a slumber party at a Residence Inn (pool + kitchenette + bedroom with door for mom + complimentary continental breakfast= win win!) and I'm sure we'll celebrate more tonight.  Happy Birthday!  (Egads, next year you'll have a driver's permit...hmmm...I better start looking at classic cars for you...)

Link to 13th Birthday Post
Link to 12th Birthday Post

A lot of birthdays

My birthday was a couple weeks ago and Mr IM's was last weekend.  Because our birthday are so close, we often have one big party of a series of small parties.  This year I was thinking...the Mr. and I have actually celebrated more birthdays with each other than we celebrated before we met...that's a crazy milestone that we somehow met without realizing it...

That adds up to 23 birthdays celebrated together....crazy...and ...I don't know if we get to count his birthday this year or not, since he spent it with The Boy at a relative's condo while I spent it with the Girl getting ready for a school dance... hmm.

Random thoughts on my birthday (Version 39.5)

First of all, thanks everyone who sent notes, posted on Facebook, sent cards, found cake at work and shared it, listened to my tales of birthdays past.....so far it has been a great day!

The kids and I stopped for Jimmy John's on the way home...I was very unmotivated to cook and the leftover situation is sparse at best.  "We" have music lessons tonight so the rumor is that we are going out for a real dinner tomorrow (Yay!  Two nights with no cooking and no dishes?  Now, that's a birthday present!).   I've spent the afternoon saying to The Boy, "DON'T tell me what you got me...you only have to wait until Dad gets home!  SERIOUSLY!!! Loose lips sink ships!! Unless you got me a couch...did you get me a couch?  If you got me a couch I need to move the old couch!"

I've smiled all day as I read your messages and looked at pictures and remembered birthdays many of you have spent with me.  My secretary and I had a giggle over how I received a birthday message from someone I had a crush on when I was in middle school...giggle.  I think I've also convinced my friend, S, to bake (and decorate) a cake for me the next time I see her (yes!  she made our wedding cake---best cake ever!)

And the icing on the cake (so to speak) is that The  Girl was accepted to her first choice of high schools for next year...ah...very good!

Yay!  Thanks, everyone!

Happy Golden Birthday to the Boy!

Yep....he is 10 on the 10th...double digits...whoo, hoo...

A trampoline party is planned at our new rec center for next weekend, but in the meantime, Happy Birthday, Kid!

Birthday photos by year from last December...

The famous birthday cake

It almost seems ridiculous to post a recipe for this cake...but it is sooo yummy!  I tried finding an official recipe online, and saw a few that are similar, but not the same. So I don't know if that means my mother-in-law modified one or if it truly is a secret family recipe--in any case, the secret is out...

Ingredients:
Cream--I suppose that half and half or something else could work, but we always use heavy whipping cream.  We've toyed with using Cool Whip and re-whipping to add the chocolate, but never had...I don't think it would turn out as well.  For this cake I used about 2 C
chocolate syrup--any will do, but Hershey's is the best...don't know why, just trust me.  For this recipe I used about 2T
graham crackers--if you can find the "big" ones, I like them best, lately all I've been able to find are the "half" ones, which are great for smores, but a pain for this recipe.  I used almost a whole box (one partial sleeve from an open box and one whole new sleeve) It is ok if they are getting a little stale/soft (but if they taste stale, they might be too far gone)
optional fruit--not part of the "original" recipe, but for several years we've been adding raspberries to the top of our creation--strawberries would be yummy, too...or whatever you want.  I used one pint of raspberries for this one, they didn't cover the whole top, but looked pretty.

Directions:
Pour cream into a glass bowl (chilled, if you remember), add chocolate syrup (enough to make it taste as chocolate-y as you would like) and whip by whatever method you usually use until stiff. (I use my fabulous $6.99 hand mixer).

For the cake plate, I usually  take a tupperware-like container, flip the lid , so the part that snaps into the bowl is up, and put down some wax paper.  When I'm done building the cake I just put the bowl part on top like a cake carrier. You can use a plate, or a cake carrier, or whatever you want--something like a plate though that can be covered.  The cake needs to be refrigerated overnight (ideally) and the cream will absorb smells/tastes from the fridge if not covered.  It is tricky to do the "toothpick and saran wrap" method with this cake, it can be pretty unstable at first (it firms up overnight).

Place graham crackers in a single layer on your "cake plate".  The cake can be bigger than one graham cracker, as large as you want to deal with, actually.  The only trick is that all the crackers need to touch with as little room between as possible.  Some years I've put a very thin layer of the whipped topping under the first layer of crackers to hold them in place, but this year the cake was small enough that I didn't need to do that.  The cake pictured is about 9 inches long and about 4 inches wide at the base, which was 3 "half" graham crackers end to end with 3 halves (of the halves) to make it wider. Spread whipped topping on crackers--the thicker it is the more unstable your cake and the fewer layers you'll be able to stack.  There is a happy medium though...you want enough whipped cream that the graham crackers can absorb the moisture and become soft and cake-like, but not so much that the cake tips over as you build it. Between a quarter and half inch seems to work pretty well.  Continue to add layers (graham crackers, whipped topping, repeat) until the cake reaches the height you would like.  This cake was about 3 inches tall.  I could have gone taller, but was running out of crackers and this was plenty for the four of us to have a piece both last night and tonight. If you haven't "frosted" the sides with the whipped topping as you went, frost the sides.  Decorate with fruit, cover, and refrigerate (ideally for about 24 hours).

After 24 hours, take out of the refrigerator, slice, and serve (with ice cream) if you would like.  Enjoy!

Birthday Parade and other fun

The Girl actually missed her birthday parade this year--she was at a friend's house for a sleepover.  IM decided to sleep in, but The Boy and I were lucky that my friend, T and her two boys wanted to come with us.  Her boys don't remember ever going to a parade, so The Boy had a good time teaching them proper (and not so proper) parade behavior (bring your own  bag for candy, look cute so the adults will let you go up front, jump up and down when people throw beach balls....)

 The very nice lady in the white shirt assured the boys that as long as she could take pictures of her daughter, the cheerleader, they could dash in front of her to collect candy and other treasures.

Here are some of the highlights of the about 1.5 hour parade....(not pictured, T and I giggling and our commentary on many things relevant and not relevant)

Our county has a tank/assault vehicle. Every year when it drives by I can't decide if I'm reassured that we have it or concerned about why on earth we feel it is necessary...

 Ummmm...boys?  You might want to duck....those lights are kind of low

 Whew...they all ducked....

I guess I didn't take many pictures this year, those might be all the good shots!

After the parade, we retrieved The Girl from her friends house and headed home so she could open presents from Grandma Lemire, The Boy, and us.

I think this picture is funny...she acts like he is going to steal her new ear rings...he, he.

 In honor of turning 13, The Girl decided to dress up, complete with heels.  Not to be outdone, The Boy found a step stool.  I think she is still taller, though!

 Dinner was at the local hybachi place (where else?)

 This time, The Girl was the guest chef...no, she is not standing on a stool, that is how tall the heels were.

 After dinner we headed home for some "Aunt A cake".  Aunt A's birthday is also in the summer and when she was a kid, Grandma didn't like to turn on the oven to bake a cake.  This cake is a nice compromise and actually turns out yummy most times!  The recipe is very simple, too, the trick is to make it the night before.

There you go--one more birthday on the books-and now we have a teenager in the house...eeek!

Happy 13th!! Birthday to The Girl

Happy Birthday, Kid!  Hope it is a great day!

Happy Birthday, dinner recap...

We seem to inadvertently created a family tradition...a few years ago we went to the local Hibachi place for dinner and now it is a "must".  For the Boy's birthday we left school, ran a couple errands, took the Girl to drum lessons, and then to dinner.  The staff claim to remember us (I don't know if should be flattered or horrified).

 Chug that Japanese soda, buddy...

 A Mickey Mouse rice patty!

 A repeat of last year's show--our cook (what is the correct name for these guys?) was very funny.  I even got a shot of the "fireman"...

 Do you all recognize this facial expression from yesterday's post? :)

 The staff even gave him a special dessert--tempura bananas--very tasty, as he would say...

 Then home to open gifts...a set of 39 clues books from Grandude

 A box of books and other goodies from Grandma and Grandpa...Legos from Grandma and lots of other fun stuff from mom, dad, and The Girl.  Make sure you check out all the chaos happening at the Veggie Nativity in the background...is that a train and elves with Baby Jee?  (or Baby Jesus, as the rest of the world knows him...)

Then it was time for some Minion inspired brownies..












And then bed for the children :)

Happy Birthday to The Boy

Since the rule is we can't put up Christmas decorations until after The Boy's birthday, it is always a doubly exciting day for some of us.  For so many reasons.  This year, the plan is to celebrate Birthday #9 with some friends at the house and watch the recently released Despicable Me 2.  Stay tuned for a full birthday party report, of course...

2004-The Boy, like The Girl, arrived right at dinner time and our doctor almost didn't arrive on time.  The Boy likes to provide a little excitement, so after the cord was removed from around his neck, he bit the doctor as he was being born.  Dr. P yelled "ow!"...I said, "um, aren't I supposed to be saying that?".  Nice, job, Boy...biting the hand that delivers you...His sister looks so much more delighted than him in this picture...I think he is looking for someone else to bite.

2005--a little cake face. Unlike his sister, this one had experienced "sugar" before his first birthday, hence the bored look.  He still gets that look after a big meal.

2006--Here's The Boy on the right, a neighbor on the left and The Girl right in the middle. I like the Elmo hats and the lawn furniture in the living room.  And giant stuffed Elmo on the right.  I have those curtains in my current living room and they have a lot more holes from Alice the Cat now.  Sigh, Alice.

2007-First birthday party in the new house--wow, the walls and carpet look so clean!  This appears to be a Monster's Inc cake...with Lightening McQueen candles.  We're nothing, if not loyal to Pixar..This would also be around the time I found him hanging by his arms from the 2nd floor railing.  When asked "What are you doing?", his very logical response was "Hanging".  Well, I guess I can't argue with that.  I did tell him to either go up or down...but not to drop.

2008-This cake is one of my works of art...I am amazed it held together long enough to put candles in it.  He wanted a pirate cake.  I think I used about 6 tubs of frosting, 2 packages of rolos, some malted milk balls, Hershey's pot of gold...and tooth picks.....mmm, toothpicks...

2009--This was the year of the "Harry Potter party", which has reached the status of epic legend in some circles.  There were Harry Potter trading cards (featuring The Boy), themed games and food, costumes...lots of chaos.  Recently one of my friends who I didn't know well then, but whose boys came to the party, said to me, "Yeah, at the time I wondered what kind of crazy person has a Harry Potter party for a five year old, but now that I know you...."  She's still laughing though, that this year's party instructions are "sit on the couch and watch the movie.  Seriously.".

2010--no clue what he is doing here other than celebrating a restaurant dinner.  This might be at our local sushi/hibachi place, where they have an anatomically correct plastic statue of a little boy firefighter that they use to, um, douse, the flaming hibachi. Again, mmm....













2011--The really short haircut makes him look so little!  This party was a Star Wars Theme.  There was a lot of hitting with light sabers.  I think I've repressed a lot of it.  This might be the party when I actually put kids in time out.

And 2012--the onion volcano! The party was an Indiana Jones theme (with fewer guests than 2011) followed by dinner at our favorite Hibachi restaurant.


Happy 9th birthday to The Boy!