Dear Friends of My Youth

Dear Friends of My Youth,

I see and hear you everywhere these days--in my daughter's silly skip up a friend's driveway, in the giggles from her friends, in your children's photos on Facebook, in the faces and voices of my classroom....

Sometimes it seems like we were just that age and sometimes it seems like it has been a million years.

Some of you I see often, others I haven't seen in years, others are gone from us (at least on this earth).

I'm thankful today for the many years of friendship among us and for the friendships that (hopefully) will last many years for my daughter.

Thank you my friends (and if you're not pictured below it is because had so much fun there are no pictures....)

Golly....

My mother keeps sending me boxes of treasures--the latest was mostly photos, newspaper articles, and about 30 napkins (clean) from our wedding in 1995.  (Ironically, I think I have about that many stashed somewhere, thinking long ago that we'd have a vow renewal at 10 or 20 years...I guess we've missed those dates...maybe at 25?)

 Anyway, when I told her that she was a week late because last week was my fall break and now I "don't have time" to deal with the treasures she said she is doing me a favor, that I can sort it all now, rather than later...Um, thanks?  In any case, I think I do have a plan for a new system...but it requires me making a mess first, so I'm not sure I'm up for it yet (Look out, Christmas break!)--I need to take all the assorted cardboard boxes of debris, sort them by type of item (photo, clipping, postcards, letters, misc debris) and by family (mine growing up, the Mr's growing up, and our kids) and repack them (labeled) in better (archival?) bins...In any case, every box I receive inspires me to cart out a box of my own and sort it, so I guess its all good...

Mom went on to say that "all her friends are downsizing" and that it seems like every week someone she knows, and not like just "knows from the community", but friends passes away.  I know that I am nowhere near that stage in life yet, but it has been a rough fall. and I sympathize with her (or is it empathize?  Which way is "I don't know what you're feeling, but I know it must stink"?)  First, my friend, Lisa, then my friend, J's, dad (that is a story in and of itself, Mike deserves his own post, but not today), and this one of my mentor-teachers, Dan passed away.  Dan, unlike Mike and Lisa, has been ill for several months.  We knew this was happening, it was just a matter of when.  As I told a mutual friend earlier this morning, I'm happy for him, that he is no longer in pain, but I'm sad for us.  I know that all three of these folks are in heaven, but golly, I"m sad for those of us left here.  

Then this afternoon I sat down to start reading a great book recommended by a friend...read about ten pages and thought..  "this seems really familiar"....but I kept reading.  Then I looked at the end. Hmm.  Don't remember it.  Read a little more.  Finally, looked at the publication date and looked it up...yep.  I read it in 2014. Apparently, it really made an impression, since I have no idea what happened, but it was familiar enough I have no desire to re-read it.  Sigh.  At least I have a pile of "next" books (including one for a class) that I can move on to. 

In happier news, I'm working on a greenhouse warming system (not heating, unfortunately, although if I can find a solar powered poultry heater I'll be in business...I don't want to run an extension cord all winter...).  If they survive the cold snap of the next few days we'll have beets, potatoes, and kale later this winter.  We also held a very early 13th birthday party for the Boy...his birthday is in December, but he wanted to have his friends Z and M over to watch a movie...and this weekend was very well the last Friday/Saturday/Sunday we'll be home until snowboarding season is over in April.  We'll still do something in December, perhaps with his snowboarding (yet to be made) friends, but it was nice to watch Purdue/Nebraska (Der, Purdue, really?Lead the whole game and then...sigh) and eat gluten free snacks.

Anyway, this is kind of a random post, so hopefully, you won't all think I am experiencing early onset Altizmers... (although some days I wonder)...Happy Halloween..perhaps I can organize another Halloween post for this year...

Goodbye, for now, my friend

I've written before about friends who are far away.  Who we communicate rarely, but when we do it is like no time has passed. I realize that I take for granted that those friends will always be "where I left them".  This past week my friend, Lisa, passed away after a brief illness.   I told a mutual friend that I didn't realize how much I missed her until she left us for Heaven.

 Lisa was one of the few people who we still exchanged handwritten letters. Especially since her stroke, she didn't use much electronic communication, at least not with me. The past few years we wrote a letter once or twice a year, trying to catch up in three to five pages (front and back) of loopy, 1980's writing. When I wrote to her family tonight, it was hard to remember I was writing about her, not to her. I loved finding one of her letters in my mailbox.

 In one of her letters, writing about her life as a single mom, Lisa said something like she was just a statistic now. As I told her at the time, Lisa could never be just a statistic. Lisa was an overcomer before Mandisa made it a thing to be.  She never found a problem she couldn't find her way around. Pretty much anything she set her mind to was completed.  When she had a stroke about eleven years ago, the prognosis wasn't good.  Against all the odds, she recovered from that illness, had another baby, went back to work.  She raised her four kids, leading them to follow Christ as she does.  Her kids are a stunning legacy to her overcomer skills.

Lisa was one of those friends who I wasn't close to at school, but who I spent an extraordinary part of my childhood and teen years with outside of school.  As I get older, I'm the first to admit that some of my memories are a bit fuzzy on the details. I can't be trusted to remember if it was Lisa, or her sister, or someone else....really who said or did a lot of things...but I remember the feelings and the general idea: Slumber parties on living room floors, New Year's Eve parties (with chex mix), choir practices, after church "field trips"...I can't tell you all the details, but I can tell you there was a lot of laughter, usually because Lisa said something witty. I have no idea why we found it funny at the time, but I still smile when I think of one slumber party, very (very) late at night, when Lisa rolled herself up in a sleeping bag and we all giggled hysterically as she said, "I'm a piggie in a blanket".  (Hmm...I probably should go easier on my daughter's slumber party giggle fests...).  I have no idea to this day why that was so funny...but it was. There was the (in)famous 4-H Fashion Show where a slip had to be stapled.  Games of sardines in my tiny house on Jackson street, when we all piled (with my mom) behind the laundry hampers (best hiding place ever!). A few (too short and too few) visits to each other's dorms and apartments at Purdue, and even fewer and shorter visits as adults.  At one point as kids, we all had matching shirts, in theory, so our parents could find us on the field trips, but really because  we enjoyed having matching shirts (not matching with the boys though--yuck)  Lisa's shirt was just a little bit different than the rest--we all had green apples, but she had a fancy neckline. I also have a lot of memories of us walking places--walking to the store in Burrows, walking to church from your house, walking to my house from the elementary school (once in our costumes from the sixth-grade play..."monster" makeup and all).

I loved going to her house.  There were German lessons during dinner--after the devotions book was read and the food was served, of course.  I think I can still order a beer in German (why did your dad teach us that?) but I don't think I can ask for the milk...And I feel like I remember a story about chicken surprise that wasn't really chicken.  Or maybe that was just something we talked about...like I said, the details are fuzzy.  Once I was there when your cat had kittens in your closet.  That didn't turn out so well, unfortunately.  And there was the night there was the world's tiniest, cutest, MOUSE, hopping up the back stairs (eeeekkkk....)....But you did teach me about other livestock--I astound people who think I'm a city girl (which I am) with my ability to herd hogs back into their pens using the big board thingy!  I also remember fondly "stealing" frozen cookies from the basement at church...I still have an affinity for frozen cookies.

Lisa and I were at Purdue at the same time.  I remember hanging out in her dorm room a few times that first year, and then we had different friends and different interests.  We saw each other at home, at church, over holidays, but not often otherwise.  I love watching the film of my wedding, because there is a clear scene of Lisa and a couple other friends from childhood/high school talking in the back row of the church.  They are talking about who each of the folks in the wedding party are and all the other things people discuss at weddings.  Their lips are easy to read. When Lisa got married, she personally mailed me a photo of her and her bridesmaids, since I already lived far away.  I kept that photo on my desk for years.  She was diligent about sending photos of her kids (back when we all printed and sent photos)along with little notes about what everyone was up to.

When my daughter was young, I visited the church we grew up in and was able to spend a few lovely hours with Lisa, her parents, and the two kids she had at the time.  I loved hearing that her kids put my daughter's photo on their refrigerator and referred to her as "my".  I have pictures in my head of that day, but have not successfully found any actual photos.

As I sit here, so far away from Lisa's family,  I have a lot of "I wish" and "I should have"...but I continue to take a deep breath and remember this is not goodbye--it is just a "see you someday".  For now, I will remember all wonderful things that made Lisa who she was. I'll remember her legacy, brought to life in her four beautiful children. My mom said it well when she noted that while we'll always picture Lisa as the sixteen year old opening a toy car for her birthday, I am happy to hear of her wonderful adult accomplishments and the strong faith she was able to help her children grow.
 I'll  continue to pray for her children, parents, and siblings.  And maybe I'll be a little better at keeping in touch with those of you still here on Earth.

May God hold you in the palm of his hand, until I see you again, my Friend.

Other memories that didn't make the narrative and may or may not be part of Lisa's story(I decided to leave them here as my notes)
reheating waffles
sunday school--the 1950's manners books, the demons went in the pigs and they ran off a cliff
drop by visits to our house during fair
rat behind barn door (Beth?)
shaved ham--something smells like shaved ham (Beth)
"Jump"on big rock in front yard
watching sound of music on new years
watching mtv on sat morning
riding bus to your house

Things to do in Denver Part I

Some friends from out of state are coming for a visit later this fall and asked for some ideas of things to do with their young kids--I am going to chat with them, too, but thought it might make a "fun" post I've talked about some of these places before, but here is the "whole list" in one place... "things to do in the Denver area" with (or without) little children....  A lot are mentioned in The Preschooler's Guide to Denver, a book that we have used a lot more since the kids started school than before.  Whenever I can I've included a link to the location's official website.

Children's Museum-I hate to start with this one, because it is one of my least favorites (sorry museum fans).  I was "spoiled" by growing up near the fantastic Indianapolis Children's Museum, so the Denver Children's Museum has always seemed small and over-priced.  We have spent some fun afternoons there--mainly rainy or cold days when we've been cooped up too long.  It does have a some great play areas for younger kids-it is aimed at the 3-5 year old crowd is my opinion and anyone older or younger isn't thrilled..but it is ok if the weather has been stinky for a long time.  And it is a good "go-to" for little kids and grandparents--lots of things to play with.

Aquarium-I haven't been to the aquarium since around the time it opened and we had free passes.  It is supposed to be great...it is funny to think of going to an aquarium in Denver though.  And again (I'm cheap) but it has always seemed pricey.

Museum of Nature and Science I do love this place--lots of stuff for kids to do and entertaining for the adults too.  Has an IMAX theater.  It is pretty similar to Nature and Science Museums in other cities...I can't think of anything that makes it drastically better or worse than any other Nature and Science Museum.  Entrance prices also seem about the same as other cities.

Zoo When we lived in Denver proper we had a zoo membership and would "pop over" for a couple hours on a Sunday afternoon. it is a nice zoo, lots of buildings with indoor exhibits so you can escape from the rain/snow/heat. We used to be famous for our polar bear cubs, but it seems like we haven't had any in awhile--but there are snow leopard cubs!  Here, too, there is an entrance fee, but it is never surprisingly high and (at least used to be) lower in the winter months.

Denver Botanic Gardens-Right now the Gardens are hosting a Chihuly exhibit and they have added a "kids discovery area".  It has always been a nice place to go play.  I think there are discounted tickets available through King Soopers sometimes.  It has a few indoors areas as well to escape the sun/rain/snow.

Lowry Beer Garden-Why might you ask, is a Beer Garden on a "kids's list"?  Great question...Here's my answer.  This place is situated right next door to the Wings Over the Rockies Museum and has a fantastic outdoor patio as well as a great indoor area.  Tasty food...and...a box of toys/games for the kids.  Granted, my kids are older, but they spent several happy afternoons playing Apples to Apples with my co-workers while I snacked on "half price food for teachers" during happy hour . I once fed the kids and I dinner for $12.  $12.  Not kidding.

Wings Over the Rockies-A very miniature version of the Air and Space Museum, has a fee, but often there are discount tickets online or in the kiosk at hotels.

Wildlife Experience-One of my favorite museums ever.  There is an area where you "walk through several climate zones" and along the way get snowed on as well as see lots of taxidermied animals.  That section alone is worth the price to me.  It also has an IMAX and a fun kids discovery area.

Butterfly Pavilion-Haven't been there in years, it was lovely, especially since when I went I had free tickets.

Westlands Park--Great park, no where to go inside, of course, but fantastic if the weather is decent (which, let's face it, it is a great deal of the time in Denver).  Has an observation tower, nature walks, and several fantastic playgrounds/play areas designed for kids of different ages and abilities.

Littleton Historical Museum--They advertise that they are "always free", but I would pay to visit.  A small, traditional, museum and several restored historic buildings.  Chickens, ducks, cows, sheep...lots of space to run and things to explore.  Special events throughout the year-we were there last spring on "Cow" day--we sampled homemade cheese, butter, and ice cream and heard about ice houses.

Hudson Gardens-Another smaller botanic garden.  During the summer they charge a fee, but in the winter I don't believe that they do. Lots of fun places to explore here, too--a hobbit hole is one of my favorites.  On special weekends there is a large outdoor model train area.

Belleview Park-We've only been to this one a few times--they have a great train to ride on (for a fee, I think) and lots of other "park" things.

Tiny Town-One of my favorites when the kids were toddling--this is a whole village (outdoors) of tiny houses and other buildings. There is a train to ride here, too.  I remember thinking the price was reasonable...I'm sure all that info is on their website.  They may close for the winter as well....but winter is kind of fluid here in the land of 340 sunshiney
 days.

Red Rocks-Free, including a small "museum".  Worth it to let kids run up and down all those stairs and perform on the same stage that the Beatles did.  Lots of hiking trails, too.

Colorado Railroad Museum-I know I've been here, but not for a long time.  I have a coffee mug from there!  The Boy reports "it was fun and Grandude bought my ticket".  So there you go.  As I remember, it has a lot of real trains that kids can tour and sometimes there are train rides

Airplane restaurant--This place, and the  next four, are all technically in the Colorado Springs area...which isn't super far from our house, but would be a hike if one was coming from downtown Denver (of course, some of the list above are a hike for us!).  I have mixed feelings about this place and always tell the folks we take that I have mixed feelings.  No one has ever been disappointed though (or at least they didn't tell me so).  The food is so-so most visits (it is attached to a Ramada Inn, I think), but if you call ahead or get lucky you can actually eat in a real airplane.  Even if you have to sit in the restaurant, there is a ton of airplane memorabilia to look at and kids are encouraged to visit the cockpit and rear bay of the airplane to explore.  Lots of great photo ops!

Air Force Academy-A very nice (free) visitor's center.  You will have to show your driver's license or other ID at the gate, but don't have to have a reservation to go in.  Most days you can take a short walk to the Air Force Chapel (down a paved trail with lots of things to look at).  A fun (usually short) stop on the way to or from somewhere else.

Olympic Training Center-Another free visitor's center.  The last time we were there they were remodeling (again).  Usually there are lots of hands on things to do and tours of the grounds are given.

Garden of the Gods-Very pretty to walk or drive.  Free entry, parking can be a pain if it is a nice day.  There is a nice visitor's center, too, mostly a gift shop, but a few things to look at/touch for the kids.

Santa Train-We haven't done the Santa train, but did take the cog railway in the summer.  The Santa train sounds very fun and we've been told that tickets "sell out fast".  Make sure to stop in Manitou Springs on your way to or from the train and try some of the water from the town's springs (the springs are free, just bring your own cup). With older kids they can pick up a map and lead you on a scavenger hunt as well as a taste test.

Bonus Link to "Best Hikes for Kids and Families" We've done a lot of these--downtown Golden is fun as well as the one to "the castle"

I'm also a fan of our public libraries--no matter what part of the "Denver Area" you are in ,there is probably a great library with a children's area, many including a"play room".  Phillip Miller (in Castle Rock), Castlewood (Centennial), and Schlessman (Denver) are some of my favorites.

Hey, Coloradans...what else should I add?

The Village

No, no, not that M Night Shyamalan movie, although that would make a great post later... (Movies I hated for most of the movie then loved afterwards?  Movies that weren't quite as good as the director's first try?)

No, I'm taking about Hillary Clinton's Village---the one from the late 1990's, that according to her it takes to raise a child.  Her book (and speeches from that era) always leave me conflicted, because although I disagree with many of her beliefs and stands, the older my kids get, the more I think she could be right on this Village thing.

In the past couple weeks, through a comedy of chaos, I've had to text friends more than once to save my you-know-what. Here's an example...the other night, I somehow ran over a large drill bit (not kidding) and shredded my tire (back passenger side, in case you were wondering) as I hurried to pick up the kids, run them home to change clothes, eat dinner and go to Cub Scouts.  Acura roadside service and the Acura dealer couldn't have been nicer--navigating the tire warranty for me and putting me in a loaner when they couldn't get the new tire until the next morning. IM was tied up in meetings and other things, so he couldn't get away to get the kids. While I waited in the Acura waiting room, I texted friend #1...."If you haven't picked up your kids at school yet, can you please take The Boy a pair of shorts?" (He needed them for a Cub Scout activity, she did) then friend #2 "Can you walk the kids from after school care in the cafeteria to the multipurpose room?  The after school lady won't let them go by themselves..."  (She did).  A couple days later I was again stuck (figuratively this time?) when I had to teach until 3:00 and The Girl had to be somewhere for cross country practice...enter friend #3, who took my child to school and had her husband return The Girl to after school care.  Needless to say, without my Village I would have had to take time off work or the kids would have to miss things...whew...Thanks, Village...I owe you (all) one (or more....)!

Long distance friendships

I was born in a small town in Michigan where my dad was a pastor.  When I was three, in 1974, we moved to Flora, Indiana, where my folks lived until 1996.  I attended Flora Elementary school and Carroll Junior/Senior High School with pretty much the same kids for grades K-12.  A few moved in, a few moved out, two other elementary schools in the county closed and consolidated with us (one in 1st or 2nd grade and one in 3rd or 4th), but other than that, we were a pretty consistent group.  When I went to college, I moved a whole 27.3 miles (37 minutes, according to Google Maps), attending school and becoming friends with lots of folks who came from or stayed in the Midwest after we graduated.  After moving to Colorado in 1996, I had several bouts of homesickness and it took me quite a while to feel that Colorado was home.  (But that is a post for another time.)  Parts of both my parents families and my father-in-law's families live in the Midwest as well--a lot of our roots seem to be there.

Over the years, we've enjoyed playing host to friends who travel out here for business or pleasure--one memorable night in our second apartment I was in my jammies when one of IM's college roommates surprised us by knocking on the door to say he was in town.  We started calling our townhouse the urban ranch, because, between the pets, and the visitors, we started feeling like we had a dude ranch at times. (We always enjoyed it though!)

I've been very blessed to be able to get back to the Midwest every other year or so, sometimes two years in a row (even three) sometimes missing two or three years.  I flew back at least once before the kids were born and stayed with my brother, who was living in Chicago at the time.  I remember borrowing his car for a jaunt to Indiana to see some friends.  A couple times my folks picked up The Girl and I and we drove east with them, and at least three times now the kids and I have made the journey "on our own".

Every time  we go I have the same "problems" though...who do we tell we are coming, who do we make plans to see, and how do we explain to the folks we can't see why we can't see them?  I've joked that "one of these years" I'm going to set up shop somewhere and tell people to come to me, rather than trying to surf from couch to couch and hotel to hotel.  One year, my friend, J, hosted a party at her house, where my kids got to play with our college roommates' kids and we were able to see and hang out with several people at once--that was nice!  This year I wasn't able to see one of my good college friends because of schedule conflicts...it was a hard decision to not cancel other plans...but who would I miss then?  Other friends we just didn't tell we were going to be in the area (sorry), apologizing after we left, because we knew we'd have to give up a visits with family members to see friends.   My friend, A, suggested that we do what she used to...just don't tell anyone we are coming and surprise the people we want to see.  Hmm...tempting...

What always amazes me, and it shouldn't, is how my friends and I are able to pick up almost where we left off, despite not having spent time together for 1-2-3 or more years.  Of course, we've sent letters, emails, made phone calls, and followed each other on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest...but if you've ever spent a long time away from a good friend you know that those are all poor substitutes for sitting on the couch (or the floor, or a park bench, or a hotel bed) and knowing with just one look that something is hilariously funny or reminds you of "that one time, in 8th grade", "or when we had a social with that house..", ..or, well, just knowing what the other person is thinking.  I'm so thankful to have friends that we can do this every time! We mystify our spouses and children with inside jokes, stories, and memories and the time is always too short.

I've been thinking a lot lately, though, about how for most of my friends our time now is too short, but we will have an eternity together... what better way to spend eternity, than worshiping with friends and relatives  from all the stages of my life? During our trips (and before and after) that "Friends are Friends Forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them..." song runs through my head almost constantly (pass the tissues, please)...So if you are one of the folks that we missed (or even that we saw), just keep singing with me...we will have more time, some day!