My most controversial blog yet...and I can't even tell you what it is about

I've been thinking about writing this post for awhile, actually in more global terms but haven't felt like I have the right words to post it.  And now that I've started, I"m not sure how to say it without doing exactly the thing that annoys me. I was also originally going to write about a specific product, but Mr. Ranch said people would be angry with me, so I'll try to go back to being general.  Ha!  Follow that train of thought...Hmm. Well, let's see how this goes...maybe I'll just erase the whole thing and forget I ever tried...

Lately I've noticed a lot of people in my life have a lot of strong opinions on child-rearing. I've seen and heard fellow moms and dads be "put in their place" by other well-meaning moms and dads, both in real life and on social media. I suppose it has "always" happened, but I seem to have noticed it more lately...maybe because both my kids (usually) sleep through the night (or at least go to their rooms and don't bug me too much after 9 pm) and I am actually listening to what people say, rather than walking around in a baby induced fog.  Recently I ran across several of my Facebook friends, relatives, and acquaintances posting an article condemning a specific baby/toddler product. This is the latest in a series of very strongly worded posts, that even as a mom who doesn't currently use the product, I thought, "ooooh"...not "oh", as in "I didn't know this information"  but "oooh" as in "oh, if I currently used said product this would stress me out".

Now, I have to say that I do actually agree with almost everything said in the article.  Here's what I don't agree with...telling people, who are possibly already having angst about their child-rearing choices, that they are doing something wrong.  We give each other a hard time about what type of crib we use (or if we use a crib at all), about food choices, about daycare vs. staying home, about using bouncy seats, what kind of stroller, about diapers, about wipes, even about bottles and sippy cups...I could go on and on...We used drop-sided cribs, disposable diapers, bouncy seats, exersaucers, sippy cups  (I could go on) with both kids.  Did we know that using some of those things "long term" could cause "issues"?  Why, yes, yes we did.   I actually have zero regrets about the items we used when the kids were babies...sometimes I even miss specific things, like sippy cups, especially after a child or pet (or me) has spilled the tenth cup of something sticky all over the kitchen table or family room floor.  And cribs with sides tall enough to keep children contained (the other morning mine woke me up at 5 am to announce they were going skiing...ok...nite, nite...)

I'll admit that I'm not innocent, I know that I am guilty of judging other parents.  Mr. Ranch and I joke about how before we had kids we once attended a PG-13 movie where some young (maybe 6 or 7 year old) children attended. We were appalled that anyone would take a child younger than 13 to a PG-13 movie...well, guess what?  The Boy, who is currently nine, went to see his first PG-13 movie at about age 6.  It was Harry Potter, the little turkey had already read the book, so, yeah, we were those people.  I once said to a co-teacher at the pre-school--"I can't believe that mom left her 3 year old and the baby here an extra hour so she could go to the grocery store alone."  Fast forward...did I ever leave my kid(s) at daycare an extra hour so I could go to the store alone?  Uh,huh....Did I feel a little bad?  Sometimes...but I feel worse about judging those other parents all those years ago.

We all make choices as parents and some are great and some are, well, not so great (buying the boy a Nerf gun? Not such a great choice...). There are many convenient choices that we make as parents that aren't perfect, but we are not perfect beings.  And, on top of that, we aren't expected to be.   God calls us, as imperfect people, to love each other, to support each other and to try our very best to make our corner of the world a better place. He calls us not to judge, but to support.  Yes, sometimes that means we need to "call" each other on stuff...but not on what we choose to use as baby products.

So here's my advice--  Do what you need to as a parent, to keep your sanity and have that extra "umph" that you need to raise your kids the very best you can.  If you need to let your three year old watch an episode of Veggie Tales while you "rest" on the couch, do it....if you believe children shouldn't see tv until they are thirty?  Well, good luck with that once they go to school, but go for it.  Use disposable diapers if they are convenient, or useful, or what you need to do to save your sanity.  Let your kids use a sippy cup so your carpet (and your dog) don't always smell like spoiled milk...Or don't use them...do what is right for you and your family!

 My bottom line? Please (please, please) stop presenting information to "me" that you think will educate me--or at least, stop telling me that your way is the best way, the only way...show me the articles--tell me it is new, or interesting information...but understand that most parents read and research the choices that we make for our kids. We really do know most of the time that the choices we're making might not be the most highly recommended by the experts...but it is the best possible choice we can make in that moment. Instead,  tell someone else that they are doing something well--that their child behaved great in church, that they are so polite, that you love spending time with them and their kids. Please try really hard to not tell other parents what they are doing wrong...there are enough negative influences on and comments towards parents today.

To end, I challenge you (and myself) to find something positive that another parent is doing, and without being condescending, compliment them today.  To stop judging others and to really start showing God's love.

 Thanks for listening...now all of you who know me personally will probably post mean things on my Facebook wall...but I can live with it.  Pass the sippy cup, please...